October 2010 archive

Where’s my gum?

Cole: “Mom, I swallowed my gum”

Me: “You know you’re not supposed to swallow your gum! Why did you swallow it?”

I turn around to find this….

Me: “Um, I’m pretty sure you didn’t swallow it.”

Cole: “I don’t have it anymore.”

Me: “Yes, you do. It’s in your hair. and on the seat. and on your hands.”

**sigh**

The Power of Prayer, Pure and Simple

I do not deny that I am the Queen of Indiscretion. There are no secrets when it comes to me. I bare all, even when I shouldn’t. And there are times when I am remorseful to have shared some big challenges and failures of my own, but I do. And I fear I always will. But one thing I have learned is that sometimes through my humility, someone is helped. So, yesterday I bared my soul with you. With the world. To see, to scrutinize, to criticize, and hopefully, to inspire. That was the email I had emailed a very select group of individuals who have helped me through some very tough times. Some people who have brought me closer to God. Some people I knew would help me through this one as well. And after much deliberation, and having seen His hand in it all, I wanted to share it with you. To give you hope.

It has only been 2 days since I sent that email out. And if only you could see the beauty that I have seen in those 2 days, you would be amazed. Awed. Inspired. Just as I am. Just as my man is. I am ever so thankful for this blessing that is losing our only income. It sounds crazy. I know. It is. But my faith never wavered and somehow, through adversity I was able to be the rock that my husband needed me to be. I was able to be the Wife that I always dreamed to be. So I will continue to share some very intimate moments in our lives right now. Moments between a husband and a wife. Moments worth telling the world about.

My husband was devastated. One can only imagine the burden on his shoulders to be the sole breadwinner and to not be able to provide for your family. But all I could feel was calm. And the only fear I felt was not being able to emulate that serenity onto my husband. What if I wasn’t able to provide the comfort and support he so desperately needed? So immediately, I prayed. And I cried. And then I sent an email out. It said this exactly.

I sat down and I listened. I stood still so the world could move me. And it did.

*Email from AG: “Have confidence that you are exactly what he needs and go with your heart, it will lead you where you need to go.”

*Email from DG: “I’m very sorry that Will could be possibly losing his job, but at the same time I am very excited for what’s in store for him!” – “Your prayers for Will will be crucial throughout this trying time also.  Your prayers for your husband are the most important than anyone else’s prayers for him, even his own mother’s.

*I looked on my desk at a prayer card I had sitting there for weeks and it read “Lord, give my husband patience to wait for Your perfect timing.” -Stormie Omartian

*I sat to open a daily prayer book and the prayer for the day was “…So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord.” -Psalm 31: 24

* At the end of the day my husband came home a new man, filled with words of encouragement from his friends and loved ones from the Lord. He was open to  meet with the husband of a dear friend of mine, one of my email recipients, TO. He is a minister for Cowboy Church. And I thought what a blessing it was to see my husband so hungry for His word. I had prayed about that.

*A friend of mine, KF came over to check some pants for Cole to see about patching them up and I was reminded about my prayer for my husband for the year. It was written a few months back. It had to do with his work. That God would show himself and lead us in the right direction. Should he stay or should he go. My prayer was being answered.

*Will gets a Facebook message from JE titled Old Friend. “Been a long time since our Sunday school days Willie. How are you. Hope things are fine.”

*Cole pulls out the Bible and insist I read it to him. Will and I are talking. He starts to cry to read it to him. I open it up at random to read. Will and I continue to talk. He asks me what the ribbon in the book is for. I explain it is a bookmark. So I read it to him where the page is marked. It is Daniel 2:18 “Moreover, the thing which the king demands is difficult and there is no one else who could declare it to the king except gods, whose dwelling place is not with mortal flesh. Because of this the king became indignant and very furious and gave orders to destroy all the wise men of Babylon.” -Will was given 30 days to perform a miracle in his job as a Lending Officer or be either fired or choose to resign.

*So very thankful of the spiritual awakening going on in my husband’s life, I opened the daily prayer book at the end of the day yesterday and again, He spoke to me. He spoke to my husband. “I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.” Job 42:6

This is just an inkling of what had transpired yesterday. There were calls about job opportunities, and a certain little toddler boy who just seemed to know his Daddy needed some extra special love and attention. But some things I just have to save for ourselves. To mull over and rejoice in;)

I don’t know what His plan is for my family and the waters seem treacherous right now. But boy am I excited for our future!!!!

The Power of a Praying Wife

We got word this weekend that my husband may not have a job next month. I am not a worrier about important things like this. I worry about meaningless things like if my email was received and if the package will arrive via UPS as scheduled. Those are the things that give me anxiety. Maybe that’s my fight or flight instinct. I had a gut instinct for a while now  and I had a light bulb moment when he told me the news. I saw it as a blessing. I thought  it was time for him to venture off somehwere else for some time. But he liked where he was and he’s a loyal man. My precious man.

Even so, as I write this my hands shake and my heart breaks in between sobs because I do desperately need prayer. Prayer that I can be the wife that my husband needs me to be because he is worried. And his sense of self is being challenged. Because this blessing is disguised as failure on his part. And that thought just kills me. That is when I want to lose it. The thought of my man thinking he is anything less shakes me to my core. But my challenge is knowing what to say, or what to do. I find myself paralyzed. I am so afraid to accidentally validate or not validate what he is going through. What he is feeling. He’s actually opening up to me about work and I don’t want him to close up. He’s worried to talk to me considering “my condition”. (I’m just pregnant but somehow it has elevated to a condition these last few days. Silly but I dare not say so! It may also be he fears I will slip into a depression-an old family friend.)

I just want to assure you that we will be fine. I have a plan for us but instinct (or heart) tells me I won’t be needing it because His is better. We are blessed in that we have a family that is willing and able to provide the emotional and financial support we  need if things go south but we hope we are able to stand on our own two feet. Well, we’d like that at least.

So I am asking for prayer for myself to be able to be the comfort and support he needs right now. And a prayer for my husband to be filled with the same peace about this that I am filled with. Or that he finds another job. Or that I find a job:,(

I’d also like to ask for your discretion in this. That it be between just us. I don’t want my husband to know that I am reaching out on his behalf because I don’t think that will help him in any way get though this easier.

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