This is my favorite season of the year. I love Fall and Christmas. But just as weather patterns have seasons, so do we as moms, sisters, friends, and women. I’ve been through seasons of busyness, waiting, hustling, and intention. For some time, I’ve been feeling the call to a season of stillness and rest.
This Thanksgiving, my family and I moved to Vermont. If I was being honest with myself, I’d say we ran away. We ran away from the distractions, the noise, the busy-ness. I try to live my life guided by faith, and I prayed for clarity for some time as I felt the nudge into this season. Just as God has promised, he answered me, with an unmistakable clarity. He told me it was time to rest, to pause, to reflect; and guided by our faith, we made the scary and radical decision to leave our hometown, our dear friends and our families to a place we had never visited. We didn’t stop to try to understand the calling, we put our faith ahead of our fear and we answered the call.
As you can imagine, this came as quite a surprise for everyone we knew and loved. We didn’t even have answers ourselves to really put into words what had been placed on our hearts.
I want to assure you that we are well. Nothing happened that caused us to make this decision other than the small whisper to “be still”. We made the decision to move and then everything happened at lightning speed. I’m sure our decision left many with uncertainty and concern for us. In less than 5 weeks we had our home rented and an old farmhouse with generations of love having lived in it, found us in a small little town called Charlotte. God has been all over this move showing us clarity in times of doubt and fear.
I don’t know what the next season will call for, or how long this season will last. But I do know that when we ask, He provides.
We’re enjoying the days in Vermont laying low and taking in the sights and beauty all around us. It truly is breathtaking! And it really does look like a scene straight our of a Hallmark movie.
Today, my littlest man turns 5.
How in the world?! It seems like only yesterday we were celebrating his fourth birthday. It’s bewildering to think back on this last year and see where we are today. I keep asking myself: how did we get here? who would have thought? how do we preserve it?
I don’t know the answer. I walked this journey and I’m still in awe of it and words can’t describe it. I’m a perfectionist and for years I’ve tried to connect a meaning to everything and anything under the sun. I struggle to pause and reflect in the journey, my eyes and energy always focused on what’s next. Keep moving. You can rest when you’re dead. Time is running out. Life is short. Pack it all in, just in case. Move. Move. Hustle.
I’m sitting in an old leather love seat looking out the window of an even older farmhouse and I feel winter all around me. Laptop in my lap, birthday boy at my feet, and a cup of Mexican coffee warming my hip. I can feel it. It’s a new season for us, and I don’t mean winter. I mean, it’s winter here in Charlotte, Vermont, but the season I am referring to is the seasons of our lives. My body wants to do something. Be active. But I can’t pry myself from this view. From this season of stillness.
Can I be completely honest? I feel pangs of guilt. I feel guilty because I’m enjoying and savoring these moments. I think of all the things I could be doing. I could be out shopping for a tree. I could be unpacking boxes. I could be balancing my accounts. If I’m distracted enough, I can convince myself that this is being lazy.
There is so much I could be doing. But this is just where I feel He wants me to be. I don’t understand it, and I’m trying to be ok with that because I feel His hands all over this season. And isn’t it a beautiful thing to see? To feel? I’d miss this if I was busy trying to understand it. If I had been hustling.
Be still long enough to listen to that quiet whisper. He knows what you need more than you do. Have faith. Trust.
Happy Birthday my sweet sweet boy!