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my very own baby girl

I have Becky’s baby shower today and just out of curiosity I looked up her registry at Babies R’ Us. I couldn’t swallow briefly as the page loaded. I couldn’t believe how lucky some people are and I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe one day I would be able to pick a bunch of pink and purple stuff for my very own baby girl.

I used to wallow in these thoughts a lot and get very depressed and I am trying very very hard to just block them or quickly get them out of my head. It’s not healthy. I know that but I dwell on these moments sometimes.

Need to get my happy face on now and practice all the nice fake things I need to say. “So happy for you”, yadda yadda yadda….

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